Why I love the Chicago Cubs
I’ve been thinking a lot about family history lately, and that got me thinking about my grandma. She is really the only grandparent I had a relationship with; both of my grandfathers died before I was born, and my maternal grandmother passed when I was three. That left my father’s mother, and believe me when I say this: she was amazing.
She was born in a small town in southern Utah, and she lived in that part of the state for most of her life. She raised a bunch of kids – both her own and various neighborhood kids – through The Great Depression. She and my grandpa were hard core, doing everything themselves: hunting, gardening, sewing, canning, etc. She did a lot of that on her own while my grandpa was off working, too. She was a believer in hard work, kept promises and baseball.
She is the reason I am a die-hard Chicago Cubs fan today; she watched the Cubs back in the day when the Cubs and the Braves were the only baseball teams on television (because Chicago and Atlanta had their own television networks). Up until the day she went into the hospital, she watched any game she could find. I can’t tell you how many times the family would be gathered around, eating or talking, and my grandma would get up and announce: “I have a game to watch.” With that, she’d go to her room, turn on the television, close the blinds, and shut the door. We could still go in – we just couldn’t interrupt the game.
She passed away when she was 96, just over ten years ago. I was in the military when I got the news via the Red Cross, and I had to take emergency leave to fly home for the funeral. She went rather quickly; one day she was in the hospital, and a week later her heart just gave out. I lived in Chicago at the time, and it just so happened that about a week before she went into the hospital, I’d visited Wrigley Field for the first time. I took a lot of pictures of the field and the game so I could send them to her with a letter about how much she would love it. By the time my letter arrived, my aunt, uncle and parents kind of warned me that she was drifting in and out of consciousness; the doctors had mostly done what they could to make her comfortable, but she wasn’t responding to many things. But when they told her she had a letter from me, she opened her eyes, smiled while they showed her the pictures, and listened while they read the letter to her. They’d later tell me that was the last time she was truly lucid.
There is one thing that kind of bothers me sometimes. I didn’t come out to my family until after she died. That wasn’t intentional – it just ended up that way. I’ve often wondered how she would’ve felt if I came out to her. Part of me thinks she wouldn’t have known what to think, that the generation gap would’ve been a gap of understanding as well. Maybe she really wouldn’t get why I don’t dress like a feminine woman or why I haven’t found a nice young man to marry. But the bigger part of me believes that it wouldn’t have made a difference to her. I was her youngest granddaughter, and we had a special bond. Maybe that’s the truth, and maybe that’s just what I need to believe to be at peace with it. Either way, it’s my truth.
I miss her like crazy. Sometimes it just hits me from nowhere, and it just hurts. But then I think of some of my favorite things about her:
- Every year for my birthday, I could count on getting a card from her that contained a crisp one-dollar bill. That might not seem like much, but it was the one thing I looked forward to the most.
- My family is in the process of transcribing her many diaries, and it has only recently come to light that she and my grandpa brewed their own beer. My Mormon extended family is, of course, scandalized by this development; I am simply delighted.
- After getting tired of losing chickens to the friendly neighborhood hawks, she got a rifle. She’d stand out on the back stoop of the house and shoot the hawks when they circled too close for her liking.
- When I was around ten years old, she taught me how to make homemade noodles for chicken noodle soup. I still remember rolling out the noodles while she said, “Thin as paper, smooth as glass.”
- While she was in the hospital, a nurse came in a couple of times during the first day to give her a shot. By the third shot, she told him, “If you give me another shot, I will come back and haunt you after I die.” He didn’t give her any more shots after that.
I hope I end up just like her one day.
July 28th, 2010 at 2:25 pm
There is one thing that kind of bothers me sometimes. I didn’t come out to my family until after she died. That wasn’t intentional – it just ended up that way. I’ve often wondered how she would’ve felt if I came out to her. Part of me thinks she wouldn’t have known what to think, that the generation gap would’ve been a gap of understanding as well. Maybe she really wouldn’t get why I don’t dress like a feminine woman or why I haven’t found a nice young man to marry. But the bigger part of me believes that it wouldn’t have made a difference to her. I was her youngest granddaughter, and we had a special bond. Maybe that’s the truth, and maybe that’s just what I need to believe to be at peace with it. Either way, it’s my truth.
>>Did you ever consider that she already knew… and loved you all the more for it?<<
Just sayin'…
July 28th, 2010 at 2:27 pm
Oh, and by the by… I have been a Cubs fan since I was 6 years old.
July 28th, 2010 at 2:47 pm
As a die hard St. Louis Cardinals fan, I am just not sure we can be friends any longer.
Oddly enough, I garnered my love of baseball from my grandfather. My mom would tell me stories of when she was younger watching games with her dad in the basement, the tv muted with the radio on because he liked those sports announcers better (Jack Buck, naturally).
My grandfather was moved to FL to MO a little over a year ago so that we can keep a better eye on his care and we go visit him every day. Each month I had to print out the Cardinals schedule with his tv channels and post it to his wall so that he wouldn’t miss a game. He loves to talk and tell stories, but that man can sit in silence for hours, mesmerized by a baseball game.
Now that I have moved away I miss my time with him. I too am the youngest granddaughter, and because of this we never got to spend much time together (he’d flown to FL before I was born). But getting to know him and hear about his life over the past year has been amazing. It pains me that I cannot see him as frequently anymore.
Baseball is one of the few things that my entire family enjoys. I love having something so simple that brings us all together. I’m glad that you were able to share a favorite pastime with your grandmother. She sounds like an amazing woman.
July 28th, 2010 at 2:56 pm
I loved this post. Thank you for sharing her with us. Makes mr miss my Gran all the more.
July 28th, 2010 at 10:21 pm
i love love love this post. these memories of her are so great, she sounds like an amazing woman.
mormon grandparents brewing beer? so awesome.
“Either way, it’s my truth.” – perfect.
July 29th, 2010 at 4:39 am
What wonderful memories! I bet if you came out to your grandma she wouldn’t have been phased in the least. She sounds like she was wonderful.
July 29th, 2010 at 10:34 am
While she was in the hospital, a nurse came in a couple of times during the first day to give her a shot. By the third shot, she told him, “If you give me another shot, I will come back and haunt you after I die.” He didn’t give her any more shots after that.
*falls about laughing*
Man, I hope I have that kind of sense of humour when I’m 96. A great post about a great woman — thanks for sharing, G.
July 30th, 2010 at 12:15 am
Oh my god I’m laughing and crying. I love her.
August 1st, 2010 at 10:03 pm
BigBrain: I hadn’t really considered looking at it from that angle – thank you. And no wonder we get along so well: Cubs fans, unite!
Capitol: I actually think St. Louis fans are among some of the best in baseball, so no complaints here. I’m grateful I got that love for baseball and the Cubs from my grandma; it’s part of her legacy that will stick with me much longer than a physical heirloom or keepsake.
kaitlin: I know it. Who knew she was so scandalous? For MY family, at least.
CAB: I really believe that to be the truth. She knew what it was like to be her own person, so I think she would’ve understood that.
DK: That story seriously sums up my grandma’s personality and humor. It’s my favorite.
August 3rd, 2010 at 8:32 pm
I really like what you wrote about your grandma ! (it’s been forever)