In which I am renamed by some kid
I had to entertain an executive’s 10-year-old daughter for a portion of my day today. I was just one in a line of employees in my department who had to chat with her about what we do. Secretly, I think he just forgot he was supposed to do something with her today, so he sent her to us.
I showed her a few things I’ve worked on and asked her a few questions. The kid is pretty bright, I will say that. It wasn’t as horrible as I thought it would be. Don’t get me wrong; I like kids, and I’m good with them. But there’s something about having them at work that totally throws me off. It’s hard for me to switch from work mode to kid-friendly mode sometimes. But she and I had a pretty good time.
At one point, she asked me if she could ask a few ice breaker questions that she’d brought with her. Her first question was simple enough: What historical sporting event do you wish you could attend? Easy: the 1908 World Series, which is the last time the Chicago Cubs won. Her next question: If you could change your name to anything, what would it be?
Yeah, what would it be? I was stumped. I’m actually totally at peace with my given name; it feels comfortable on me. It’s not super feminine, which I think would make me uncomfortable. Balancing my masculinity with a feminine name would bother me on some level, I think. I can’t imagine being a Sarah or Vanessa or Mindy. Those names are all perfectly fine, by the way; it’s nothing against the name, I’m just glad it’s not my name. The only names that had come to mind were those that could go either way: Sam, Jesse, Shawn, you get the idea. I told her I was at a loss, but she apparently wasn’t.
“You look like a Chase to me. That would be a good one for you. Or Chandler.”
“Why do you say that?”
“I don’t know. You don’t look like you’d like a girly name.”
“No?”
“You’re not, like, a regular girl. You look like you’d want a cool name instead of a pretty one.”*
It might seem like a little thing, but in that few minutes, I felt like this kid actually saw me. She looked at me and actually thought about what I would like. She gauged my mannerisms, looks and personality and came to a conclusion that was incredibly insightful, in my opinion. I actually really appreciated it, even though I couldn’t express to her why. And then we were off, talking about her totally weird neighbor who had a baby girl and named her Xantha.
The whole experience reminded me why I actually like kids. No judgment, no expectations, no rules. A lot of adults could learn from that.
*Wanting something cool instead of something pretty could pretty much sum up my life’s wishes. Barbie? No thank you. Pocketknife? Yes, please.
July 30th, 2010 at 7:14 pm
Kids are amazing!! It’s great to be really seen by a stranger.
July 31st, 2010 at 1:43 am
That’s really awesome and I love this
“…Barbie? No thank you. Pocketknife? Yes, please” I still love pocket knives even if I don’t carry one.
July 31st, 2010 at 8:53 pm
that’s pretty cool.
but i’ll have you know that my pocketknife is quite pretty ;)
July 31st, 2010 at 10:08 pm
I love this!!
Kids can be incredibly perceptive. And they’re much less ashamed, or something, of their perceptions. They have a much easier time expressing what they actually see/think/feel, rather than tailoring it to what they think they *should* see/think/feel.
August 1st, 2010 at 1:22 pm
So the kid’s dad is on my shit list, but the kid herself? ROCK ON.
August 3rd, 2010 at 12:10 pm
I think Chase is a cool name :)
There are a lot of kids in my family (they belong to my cousins and chosen siblings) who see me– and i’m amazed every single time. I never feel judged by them either. And I know that as big as our crew is, some day one of them is going to come out and it’s gonna be rad that I’m here.
August 8th, 2010 at 9:50 pm
Bee: I really hope that if one of my nieces or nephews or friends’ kids ever comes out or just ever faces something that seems daunting, it will be at least a tiny bit easier knowing that I’m here and won’t judge them.
August 21st, 2010 at 7:40 am
True story: My friend was seriously considering naming her son Chase, until I reminded her that her last name was Cox. She named him Trey.
August 22nd, 2010 at 4:46 pm
Kathleen: Thank you for that comment – I needed the laugh!