Alpha
This is the start of my blog. I wrote up kind of a synopsis over on my 411 page, but I’ll go into a bit more detail here.
The past couple years of my life have been very interesting and very educational. I feel more comfortable in my skin now than I ever have. This is the result of allowing myself to just be myself. Honest. Authentic. And to be quite honest, a big part of my identity is dominantly male.
This is the part where I feel a little nervous, a little unsure of how I present myself, and hell-bent on making sure I am clear. I’m not a male trapped in a female body, I’m not interested in having any kind of surgery, and I don’t regret anything about my life. I don’t have a judgment about people who do feel that way. I’m just saying what’s true for me. I feel male energy, and those around me feel it, too. That’s just how I operate. That’s how I’m wired emotionally, that’s how I move physically, that’s how I interact socially.
I’m going to keep this initial post short. There is time and space to explore all of this, and that’s why I created this. So for those of you who decide to listen in and join the conversation, welcome.
February 4th, 2009 at 6:37 pm
Okay. So. I’ve worked my way backwards to your first post…
I don’t think you’re going to be insulted by this, but just in case: IT’S NOT MEANT TO BE INSULTING. Just so you know, in case I put it really badly.
I’m kind of surprised by this. And also not, but still – kind of.
If I hadn’t met you I wouldn’t be surprised at all, because you definitely have a not-super-feminine quality in your writing (what does that even MEAN?), and you definitely don’t have a girly thing going on in pictures.
BUT.
When I met you I was surprised to get a distinctively feminine vibe from you.
It wasn’t some weird, conflicted thing, though. It was just…balanced? I’m not sure how to put it. It didn’t seem like you were a girl trying to be masculine, or a girl wearing guy’s clothes – it was just YOU. It’s like being outside and getting a whiff of spice on the breeze – I wasn’t expecting it, but it wasn’t out of place. If that makes any sense.
So this blog is kind of surprising to me. You write about people getting a masculine energy from you, and I’m honestly surprised by that. Then again, I didn’t spend much time with you, so I’m going off a first impression.
February 7th, 2009 at 9:04 pm
I’m not insulted. I know a lot of people who would feel surprised at all of this. It’s not that I think I’m overwhelmingly masculine or anything. It just feels like part of my composition, you know? I don’t try to be one way or the other.
I like the idea of being a spicy breeze, lol.